ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
