Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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