Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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