At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
