Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
