He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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