yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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