Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
