I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
