Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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