dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
