do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
birth control should be required to get into college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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