Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
