The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I enjoy the company of your penis
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