how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
