Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
