Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He felt like a one man threesome
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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