before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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