She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
