just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
