There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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