Where did you get a picture of my penis
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
