Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
