If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
