Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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