im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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