i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
