awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
