we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize