Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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