Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
