wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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