He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
