And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
