Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
