You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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