Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
