went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
