Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
