"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
