You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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