I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
