I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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