she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
