It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
