You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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