I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
