On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
