She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
