My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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