I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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