i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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