If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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