The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
