your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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