don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
