We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
