You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
