No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My dick has a subreddit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
