i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think people are normalizing furries
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
