Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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